Benjamin Franklin once said: “In this world nothing can be
said to be certain, except for death and taxes.” He should have added change.
Everything changes- especially relationships. There are so many kinds of different relationships. As a matter of fact everything in life is a relationship. We have relationships with people, places, jobs, money, pets and so much more. All of these things are in a constant state of change.
Last week, and now this week too, the majority of my clients have been going through changes within relationships. The majority of us are very uncomfortable with change. Even those of us who welcome change have limits to how much change they can tolerate. Make no bones about it though, change is inevitable!
So, what do you do when change is barreling down on you? Take a minute and be honest about your answer here, this isn’t a test. Feel into it and recognize where your boundaries to change lie. How far can you go into change before you’re uncomfortable? Let’s talk about pushing our boundaries out further.
You’ve done the first step, just reading that previous paragraph got you to check into those feelings. Next? Let’s get you to feel safe. Remember that the simplest part of change is the ability to change your mind. If something isn’t working out for me, I have the right to change my mind. So do YOU! By taking control via changing your mind, you take back your power. This will help you feel safe. What’s important here is to stay open to the process. Never turn your back or hide your head in the sand. That may feel safe, but you can’t hide from change, so you’ll just diminish your ability to cope with it by not facing it. Claim your power by looking directly at what’s happening so you can evaluate all of your options.
Stay in your body! Don’t give in to fight or flight. Neither of these responses will serve you. Let me walk you through how to stay in your body. Do this with me for a bit:
Place your right hand on your heart. Place your left hand on your lower abdomen. Take a deep breath, inhaling into your heart (right hand), and exhale slowly into your lower abdomen (left hand). Repeat . This will take about 20 seconds. Twenty seconds can change everything. I know you have 20 seconds, we all have 20 seconds to invest in our own well being!
I ask you to remember this: You are energy. Your relationships are energy. Everything is energy and all energy is malleable. The energy of the relationship is what’s important here. When you acknowledge this fact and stay present, you are able to make conscious choices and breathe into the change instead of hide from it.
Many of you will disagree with me here but, change is good for us. It gets us to look at things differently and opens our minds to possibility. It gets us free from the mud that our feet are stuck in. Embrace change and free your mind.