Spoiler Alert!! Taking care of yourself doesn’t get easier as you get older. Sorry if that comes as a shock. The daily requirements of getting enough (including appropriate amounts and kinds) food, water, exercise and sleep continue to remain a challenge for me and many of my friends. I somehow anticipated that it was only an issue for the “newly adulting” set, back when I could count myself in that group, but no- it remains a challenge at the best of times for myself as well as for friends in their third decade as well as those in their seventh decade. I have to assume that it continues until, as in childhood, someone else becomes responsible for taking care of us. Add in illness, an increased stress due to major life changes, or both and it becomes a recipe for disaster in the realm of self-care. This is when friends and loved ones are essential. They can offer gentle yet insistent reminders and encouragement to not only meet those basic needs, but to also juggle the myriad questions of what medicines to take and how much, how to modify food and liquid intake, exercise, even when to call out of work!
This is the time of year when so many are getting some kind of transient illness. I encourage you to do two things: 1. Reach out to your friends and family if you are sick and get the support you need so you may get better faster. Don’t try to be superhuman and handle it all on your own. 2. Don’t listen to your friends and family when they are sick and insist that they are “fine”. Give them a little TLC even if it’s just daily phone calls to remind them to take care of themselves.
My message here is this- taking care of yourself is challenging. Don’t give yourself a hard time for having to work at it and think about it on a regular basis. No one really does it automatically, it just looks like that from the outside. It’s worth it to keep aiming for the ideal balance, but it’s not a goal you can attain and then never worry about again. The need for self-care is inescapable, so embrace it and honor the fact that your body’s need change from day to day. Be kind to yourself on this journey, and don’t be afraid to reach out for support. That’s our specialty at Center for Holistic Healing and Art, supporting you on your journey so you can shine!
Today I met with a neighbor who finds herself going through changes. She spent 30 years in the very high pressured business world in Boston and has suddenly found herself with loads of time and not very much to fill it with. You know how she’d like to fill her time?? You guessed it, She’d love to submerge herself in the healing and Spiritual world. That’s one mighty big change. So, how does someone do that? And by that, I mean do a complete 180.
Let me preface by telling you that she’s a Reiki Master and she meets with a particular group of other healers at least 3 times a month. She’s been doing this for a couple years. You might say she’s been dipping her toe in the waters for a while. We discussed finding places, shops, centers to spend her time in and meet other like-minded people. We’re in the outer suburbs of Boston, there isn’t too much out here outside of our space which is open by appointment only. She needs more than that. I could only come up with a couple other places without going closer in to the city.
What next? I’ve been thinking about this since we left each other and this is what I know to be true…
We attract what we put out! It’s the Law of Attraction at it’s finest. If what we’re looking for is something that is different from what we’ve been doing, than we must change what we’re doing. We must change the energy that we put out into the world. Likes Attract! If you’re looking for a new tribe, change your vibe!
By now you’ve all seen all the memes and received all the inspirational emails but have you really paid attention? Have you actually dropped off the people and the energy that bring your energies down? I can’t stress this enough. Here’s the clincher; If your answer is Yes but your vibration hasn’t risen, than it’s not them, it’s you. You must do the work yourself. It’s not easy but if you don’t do the work, you don’t grow. It’s pretty basic really. It’s like not doing your homework but expecting your teacher to still give you an A+. It’s just not going to happen. Your teacher here is actually your higher-self! Your higher-self needs for you to grow and wants you to get your homework done. This means, meditating and getting fresh air and laughing and moving your body and being with people who vibrate higher than you do and, if you’re a Reiki practitioner (or any other healing practitioner), doing your self Reiki daily. Self care is so important when we go through changes.
Change is constant. Be the change you want to see in others.
I love fall in New England! I love the colors, the crisp air, the intense blue skies, and the crunch of leaves on the ground. Ever since I began meditating and working on self-discovery, I have been hearing about the need to release things that no longer serve me. With its falling leaves, autumn now serves as a reminder for me to let go. The trees set a perfect example as they drop their leaves and in fact need to release them in order to enter dormancy to safely survive the winter. The fact that this happens annually also reminds me that letting things go is essential to moving forward and that it is not the “one and done” kind of exercise. It is ongoing and recurring as different aspects of issues that no longer have use in my present life pop up. I used to think once I had identified things I wanted to release and then focused on letting them go, I wouldn’t have to worry about them anymore and they would no longer effect my life.
Oh boy, how wrong I was! Take my eating habits (please!) Many years ago I figured out that some of my poor eating patterns are from my childhood. I had an “ah ha” moment and then set out to leave those behaviors behind. Now just recently I’ve realized that I’ve been letting my 5 year old self make food choices for adult me. Not such a great plan! Now I’m working on taking over adult control since 5 year old me likes carbs far too much! Each time I understand a new facet of how my past is influencing my present, I deal with it. Old stuff seems to have buried into my psyche in many spots and each one seems to surface under different circumstances. I admit, I get frustrated when something I thought I had gotten rid of entirely turns out to still be influencing how I function. Still, it’s always been worth it to wrestle with it again and release this new aspect of it into the earth. Just like it does with leaves, the earth takes old, unwanted energy and transforms it into something beautiful- like flowers! This season be like the trees and let that old, unwanted stuff go (again, if necessary!)
Benjamin Franklin once said: “In this world nothing can be
said to be certain, except for death and taxes.”
He should have added change.
Everything changes- especially relationships. There are so many kinds of different relationships. As a matter of fact everything in life is a relationship. We have relationships with people, places, jobs, money, pets and so much more. All of these things are in a constant state of change.
Last week, and now this week too, the majority of my clients have been going through changes within relationships. The majority of us are very uncomfortable with change. Even those of us who welcome change have limits to how much change they can tolerate. Make no bones about it though, change is inevitable!
So, what do you do when change is barreling down on you? Take a minute and be honest about your answer here, this isn’t a test. Feel into it and recognize where your boundaries to change lie. How far can you go into change before you’re uncomfortable? Let’s talk about pushing our boundaries out further.
You’ve done the first step, just reading that previous paragraph got you to check into those feelings. Next? Let’s get you to feel safe. Remember that the simplest part of change is the ability to change your mind. If something isn’t working out for me, I have the right to change my mind. So do YOU! By taking control via changing your mind, you take back your power. This will help you feel safe. What’s important here is to stay open to the process. Never turn your back or hide your head in the sand. That may feel safe, but you can’t hide from change, so you’ll just diminish your ability to cope with it by not facing it. Claim your power by looking directly at what’s happening so you can evaluate all of your options.
Stay in your body! Don’t give in to fight or flight. Neither of these responses will serve you. Let me walk you through how to stay in your body. Do this with me for a bit:
Place your right hand on your heart. Place your left hand on your lower abdomen. Take a deep breath, inhaling into your heart (right hand), and exhale slowly into your lower abdomen (left hand). Repeat . This will take about 20 seconds. Twenty seconds can change everything. I know you have 20 seconds, we all have 20 seconds to invest in our own well being!
I ask you to remember this: You are energy. Your relationships are energy. Everything is energy and all energy is malleable. The energy of the relationship is what’s important here. When you acknowledge this fact and stay present, you are able to make conscious choices and breathe into the change instead of hide from it.
Many of you will disagree with me here but, change is good for us. It gets us to look at things differently and opens our minds to possibility. It gets us free from the mud that our feet are stuck in. Embrace change and free your mind.
“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
We talk about self-care often. We remind our friends and our loved ones to actively care for themselves all the time. But we still don’t do it for ourselves. Why? We’ve got a million reasons why not, don’t we?
This has gotten me into trouble today. You see, I’ve had issues with my back since I was 20 years old. That’s a long time since I’m 54 today. I should have a regular routine by now to help me to support myself. I should have some really good habits in place. Alas, I don’t. I don’t give myself permission to care for myself. Conveniently, I forget to do my regular exercises that would keep my back strong and fit. These are simple and only take a few minutes a few times a day to do, but I still don’t do them regularly.
That’s my issue, what’s yours?! What are your excuses? How simple would it really be to do what you need to for yourself?
Self-care means different things to different people. None of them are simple if you’re the one that needs them. For me, drinking enough and more than enough water each day is simple. For so many, that’s the hardest thing they do all day. Too many of my clients aren’t enjoying themselves enough. Is this you too? For instance when they come to me for energy work or a reading and are on or at my table, their Spirit Guides will make sure that I tell them that they need to laugh more, or be with their friends more often, or get out of the house!
Are you celebrating life? Your life is worthy of a grand celebration!! Don’t sell yourself short here. I know, it may sound selfish but it really isn’t! Get out there and have more fun.
Me? I need to make a commitment to myself. I know this because as I get older, my body likes to remind me of the commitment that I haven’t made more often. Please, if nothing else, listen to your body. Your body will always show signs of what is going on internally, mentally, and spiritually.
Again, it’s easy to say these “I will” statements but until we really learn to love ourselves, all the parts, our self-care suffers. Self-love and self-care really do go hand in hand. One feeds the other.
Now, get a massage, go for a hike, enjoy the beach, meditate, hang out with your friends, eat a marvelous meal, garden, and celebrate your life! You’re Worth It!
I Wish You Light
Ok, so I really don’t need research to tell me how good I feel when I crank up my music. My body tells me that! Although I do like knowing that there really is plenty of research that agrees with me. Check out this piece from Healthline. How Music Affects Our Moods
There are even lots of stories of how dementia and Alzheimer’s patients feel when you put music on from their younger years. I especially love this son who takes his dad out and sings classic songs with him. There is just so much LOVE here. Check out the father & son team here.
Imagine this with me: You’re not feeling great. Maybe you’re experiencing symptoms of allergies or maybe you’re worried about something. You’re sulking, your posture isn’t good, you’re generally cranky. What do you do about it?
Me? I generally give in to it for a couple hours. Then I get pissy because I’m not the cranky type. Pissy is a good thing for me because it makes me do things. It puts me into action. I go straight for music. If I’m home I head for my kitchen stereo. If I’m really lucky, I’m alone. If you’re anything like me, you put music on that makes your body move. Once I get that first sway of my hips in I hit the volume button and turn it way up. I dance and I sing, loudly! It doesn’t matter if I can sing or not, I’m singing LOUDLY! I’m dancing like Elaine Benes and I don’t care! My mood has changed and I’m happy again!
Music means so much to me that when I decided that I’d permanently mark my body with a tattoo I put a G clef on my hip. This way I always have music with me.
The moral of my story is simple. Stay happy, raise your vibration, turn the volume up!
Once upon a time…
Don’t all fairy tales start this way? Well, my dears, it turns out that this is no fairy tail! I’ve heard about this for quite some time. The first time I actually experienced it I brushed it off thinking that it really couldn’t make the difference that she was talking about. So I left it where I found it, in a stranger’s back yard. It just didn’t land with me, and I’m guessing that’s true for quite a few of the others that were there that day as well.
Then about a month ago, at our Empath Empowerment group, there was a woman there who shared with us what she had been given in a dream and the changes that it made for her and those that she had shared it with. Naturally we were all listening and very interested. This again was Structured Water. But alas, again I didn’t really grasp it, so I left all of that information there in the room, not taking it with me.
Now, I’m not always this tough to get through to but if you know me, you know that I’m a skeptic. I’ve always been a skeptic and I suppose I will always be a skeptic. Honestly, even when it came to my own gifts I had to be hit over the head with it over and over before I admitted that there was something to all that was happening to me.
Stay with me now, this is where it gets good. She came back! This weekend she came to our Great Spirit talk! We LOVE HER! Her name is Donna and she has beautiful energy. She’s one of those people that we talk about all the time, she has energy that matches and complements someone else’s energy when you meet and talk with her. She’s what we like to call our people. She spoke a tiny bit about the water before we began to channel, just a bit. Then as soon as Kristi, Amy and I went into the energy to begin to bring Great Spirit through they told me, “We want to speak of the water.” So I patiently waited until that energy had the chance to power through and speak of the water. Long story short: IT’S ALL REAL and it’s very important! That was it for this skeptic! I’m IN!
You see, as our water moves from its source, it moves through rocks and it bubbles and swirls though the rivers and springs. It’s pure. However, to get to us it must go through man-made filtering systems and pipes that are still and dark, and in that process it loses the ability to carry all the light and earth energy with it. (That all makes a lot of sense, right?) It actually loses energy. Now, if you’re a wine drinker no doubt you’re aware of wine aerators, they’re a quick way to get the air moving though your wine allowing it to breathe. Well, don’t you want that and more for the water that you drink? The filter system that she told us about is similar to a wine aerator, only more earthy and real simple to create at home with things you already have. I liked that. She got my attention. Earthy + Simple =yes please.
Here’s how to do it: Marbles plus a funnel and straw! Yup, the simplest way to create this filter is to put marbles into a funnel, you may need a screen or straw at the bottom so that the bottom marble doesn’t stop the flow, and then just pour your tap water over that. Be sure all parts are clean- white vinegar is a great way to get and keep all of the components clean. Donna puts some shungite into the filter for added earth energy. BRILLIANT! If you look at the picture here, you’ll see that I put a combination of marbles with some odd shaped glass beads and some Jet for my earth energy, I also put a piece of Red Jasper (more earth energy) at the bottom so that the marbles wouldn’t close off the funnel. As I’ve been writing, my 12 year old came over and asked what I was doing with the mason jar and funnel filled with rocks. I told her all about it and had her taste it. Mind you, she’s my child and also a skeptic. Even SHE tasted a difference =Proud Mamma
Do it because it tastes better. Then you’ll see the other differences happening for you. Me? I literally have a renewed energy in my body. It’s odd, I know, and it’s not even like me to admit to something like this, but I really do feel a difference! I flow better. Try it, you’ll like it.
With Great Gratitude for Donna and all of you,
I Wish You Light
Feeling overwhelmed and anxious has been a recurring concern that we have noticed here at Center for Holistic Healing and Art, Mansfield MA over this past month. The holidays that happen at the end of the calendar year often mean time with- or without- family and friends which can result in anxiousness. The cause of the stress may be different, but the internal reaction can be quite similar: feeling the need to retreat, isolate or create barriers to more outside influence. This is a common problem no matter what age you are, for empaths and non-empaths alike.
For some people, at some times, this works fine- other times it doesn’t work as well. For those of you wishing for a different approach, we’d like to offer this alternative to closing yourself off and pulling away from the world and the physical body you inhabit.
Try this meditation: Focus your attention on one body part at a time and really feel the surfaces that are touching you- clothing, seat, floor. Notice the temperature of the air on your exposed skin, sense the darkness or light with your eyes closed. Now expand your awareness to your energy that is outside the confines of your body- your aura. Feel how large it is and what it passes through or comes to rest against. Now enjoy feeling yourself taking up all of this space, both physically and energetically. Stamp your feet and revel in your own solidity. Take a few deep, slow breaths with your hands on your hips and your feet spread wide as you become accustomed to this expanded way of being.
You are not hiding or retreating, you are taking up ALL of your real estate and you are entitled to it. From this place of confidence and self-awareness you can let love and compassion for others flow effortlessly out of you and towards everyone around you, without judgement or restriction. Practicing self-love and self-care in this way makes you more capable of helping others. It also makes you less likely to feel overwhelmed and more in control of your own emotions. This is not intended to dismiss or minimize the issues of anyone dealing with panic attacks, depression or severe anxiety disorder. It is instead aimed at those who are looking for a new tool to deal with situational anxiety. It is also a terrific way of realizing your power to effect change in the world by sending out love. This is an active endeavor that can decrease your sense of helplessness with all that is going on around the globe.
Here is a fantastic talk on standing in your power by Amy Cuddy
In love and Light,
Kristi, Amy and Andrea
Recent Blog Posts
- Why Being In Your Body Is Your Fist Step to Change February 1, 2018
- Taking Care of Yourself January 17, 2018
- Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe November 1, 2017
- Releasing What No Longer Serves October 3, 2017
- Protected: Anxiety is HARD Let me help. September 13, 2017